I feel like I don't have anything interesting to share. Not anything that anyone would really care about.
I wake up, get the kids ready for school and daycare. I go to work. I pick up the kids. Make dinner, give baths, go to bed and start all over again.
I need a hobby.
Oh wait, this is supposed to be my hobby.
Now, I'm not complaining. I mean, I guess I am a little bit. But I am not unhappy. I love my boring little life. I love my kids and my husband. I like my job. I just feel.....uninspired.
I am confident that I am not the only almost 40 mom out there feeling like I am stuck in a rut of boring routine and wishing something, anything, would spark a little excitement in my life.
Here's where I get a little picky... cause I say something, anything to spark excitement, but let's be real.... I don't need any drama. I am a walking, talking embodiment of that Mary J. Blige song. Keep your drama faaaaaar away from this girl.
A little drama free excitement would be alright with me. Like maybe I could win a vacation in Paris. I've always wanted to go to Paris. The hubs and I could stoll along, eating baguettes, wearing berets, It would be lovely. It would be out of the ordinary and that is what I need.
Maybe a vacation away from my kids is exactly what I need. I love them, I love them sooooooooo much. But they try my patience and I sometimes wonder how much I could get for them on the black market. Cute little red head kiddos, I bet I would make a killing....... just kidding. I promise.
It wouldn't be so bad if they could just get along.
I was just telling my mom this last night. It's like 10% of the time my kids get along and play well together. The other 90% of the time I am referee to their constant cage fight. I can't even go to the bathroom alone without hearing them shouting for me.
"Moooooom, Oliver is in my room again!"
"Mom, Oliver hit me with his toy"
"Mom, Oliver took my doll!"
"Moooooooom, Oliver is breathing in the same room as me!"
Ok, its just my daughter. She's a jerk to her brother. Oliver loves her. He wants nothing more than to be wherever she is, doing whatever she is doing. Phoebe, on the other hand, is annoyed with his very existence. In her defense, he is a brute and doesn't know how to play gently with anything. I guess I would be irritated if someone was hulk smashing my LOL dolls all day too.
So they bicker all day, every day. I have gotten pretty good at just tuning it out. At this point I am ready to just let them fight to the death.
Have two they said. They will be great friends, they said. They will entertain each other, they said.
Maybe when they get older, but they certainly are not great friends and entertaining each other right now.
So for now, its the same old routine, day in and day out. Go to work, feed the tiny humans, make sure they don't die. Do it again tomorrow. Wash, rinse, repeat.
Somewhere in that schedule I am also supposed to find ways to meet my own needs, feed my own passions, make time for my hobbies. Except I don't have any hobbies anymore. I love to do this....write. But I refuse to turn into some "mommy blogger" who only signs in to give you my latest "Life hacks" and parenting advice.... because I don't have any advice. I don't know what the eff I am doing half the time and I wouldn't even begin to pretend to know what you should be doing either. Love your kids, keep them alive. That's it. Those are my pearls of wisdom.
I don't really know where I was going with this.... but there it is. I miss writing and thought that if maybe I just sat down and started writing anything, that something profound would follow. That didn't really happen, but I am also rusty, so give me a little grace. Next time will be better, pinky promise. Now, if you will excuse me, my son is shouting from the bathroom that he needs help wiping his butt.
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