I feel like a prom queen with a smokin' hot date 90% of the time
The other 4 or 5 days of the month, when "Aunt Flo" comes to visit, I am an irrational, overly emotional train wreck.
Let's do this!!
Can I get an Amen?
Sadly, that is not how it works. I have been dealing with my monthly visitor since I turned 14. FOURTEEN. I hadn't even kissed a boy at the age of 14, so what the hell was my body doing getting ready for the big show??
Disappointed Otter is disappointed
On top of the fact that menstruating is uncomfortable, at best, and makes me a weepy mess, I have spent WAAAAAYYYYYYY too much money over the years on the various accoutrements that one needs to survive the monthly crimson tide, i.e: maxi pads, tampons, Motrin, etc. Way too much money and NO OFFSPRING TO SHOW FOR IT YET.
I bought tampons the other day. They are Tampax brand and they are called "Radiant" Yep, radiant. No part of being on my period and using that product makes me feel like a radiant princess. I don't care what they say, I still feel like I am plugged up with a cotton torpedo. They can stuff their radiant princess sticks right up their ass.
Did anyone else ever watch this video in preparation for "becoming a woman"?
At about the 7 minute mark, it starts talking about the symptoms of menstruation. Some girls might feel less "peppy" and experience the occasional "twinge" in the lower abdomen.
Thank you Disney, for properly preparing me for the feeling of gremlins trying to claw their way out of my uterus each month. I definitely feel less peppy.
*sigh* I don't know where exactly where I was going with all this. I just think it's lame. And my poor boyfriend had to bear witness to my emotional nuclear meltdown at dinner the other night simply because I hated every one and everything and they put walnuts on my salad which prompted murderous rage and contempt!!! And then tears. Yes, I cried. He's a trooper, that's for sure.
Oh well.... Back to my Wile E. Coyote-esque drawing board where I am attempting to cure the evil curse!!!