Friday, December 28, 2012

I'm waffling

I have been wondering lately if I should keep trying to make an effort. It's been a year. I keep trying and all I manage to get in return is excluded from things that I would have normally been included in because..... well I don't know. Because certain people can't act like mature adults?  Because we can't just all get along? What I have found myself doing instead is watching, as an outsider, the fun group things that my friends are doing and wondering why I have been singled out as the only person not invited to join in. I know the answer. But it's stupid. I was willing to let some time pass, and graciously bow out into the background..... for awhile. I am tired of being the disgraced black sheep of the group. 

I remember a time, not all that long ago, when if one of us was having a get together and we knew that certain attendees might not get along, we said "Fuck it. They will have to deal with it because they are both my friends".  I guess that mentality doesn't apply to me.

I shouldn't care, but my feelings are hurt. I don't feel like I should keep bothering. I suppose the best course of action is just to continue fading into the background.  It's not as if I have a shortage of friends. I am not sitting at home, crying myself to sleep because no one wants to hang out with me; but I miss those friends. Two of them in particular, and specifically the option of hanging out with both of them at the same time.

I'm not sure what to do :(

1 comment:

  1. I recommend you re-evaluate your definition of 'friends'. You probably have zero to three real friends. These others are acquaintances.

    Some people don't like you. Some of your acquaintances like the people that don't like you better than they like you. They choose these people over you for events. It happens. Lower your expectations of acquaintances.

    Sometimes girls get invited to an event because they are female, add one more number to a group to help with its legitimacy, might put out, or simply because they have big tits and are reasonably fun to look at. It's not always going to be because they are a wonderful friend that is particularly cared for.

    Don't overestimate your value. And don't overestimate theirs.

    Stop caring about people that don't care about you.

    What to do? Nothing. Ignore stupid shit and move on.