Tuesday, June 26, 2012

My bra is totally going skydiving!!

I should preface this post by saying that guys just aren't going to give a shit. And now you know.

Ok girls, we all know how important it is to have a bra in all 3 of the following colors- Black, White and Nude. Of course we also have 18 other bras of various colors and patterns, but those 3 are essential. Recently my washer ate my nude bra. I was so angry at my washer! First of all, that was a $50 bra that it decide to chew up and twist around beyond recognition. Secondly, I needed to wear it, it was the only bra appropriate for the outfit I had planned. I had to re-plan my outfit and I was not a happy camper about it.

So the next day I decided to stop by Victoria's Secret on my way home and pick up a new nude bra. Easy peasy, right?  Wrong.

I got to Victoria's Secret and walked directly to the display that holds the bra that I always wear. The Very Sexy bra. I always get the same one because I love it more than I love craisins.

Yep, even more than I love these

Why do I love it so much? Well, if you  have ever shopped for a bra in Victoria's Secret you know that it is almost impossible to find a bra that is not so padded that it could stop a bullet. Maybe that is a good thing for women who are totally flat. But I am not and I am not trying to give anyone false hope that my girls are any bigger than what they really are. The Very Sexy bra has just enough padding and lift to make me feel sexy (great marketing on that one) and not like my breasts are chafing against my chin.  Speaking of up against your chin.... they have a bra that is supposed to make you look 2 cup sizes bigger than you are. WTF would I want to do that for????  C is big enough, thanks. I won't let pervy men tell me any differently.

 This is the Very Sexy bra. I do NOT look like this when I wear it. *Sadness*

Anywho, since I always buy the same bra I am pretty much certain of the price. So I paw through the drawer until I find my size in nude and prepare to head to the register. However, before I am able to shut the drawer I notice that there is a Very Sexy bra there that is soooooo pretty. It's white and pink and has these little sparkly rhinestones on it. I couldn't help myself, I had to have it. So I took both bras, some lip gloss and a nightshirt and headed up to the register. 

The very excited and helpful and happy 17 year old who checked me out was overly enthusiastic about how I had purchased that sparkly bra. "OMG, I just LOOOOOVE this one. We only got two of them in this color. I think it is just GORGEOUS!". I agreed, although I did it with markedly less enthusiasm. She rang me up and I paid and left the store to head home. 

As I was walking back to my car I thought to myself that the total I paid seemed like more than what I had anticipated it to be. So when I got home I took my things out of that ridiculous pink striped bag and took a hard look at my receipt. 

Lip Gloss- $10 each
Night Shirt- $30
Nude Very Sexy Bra- $48 (as expected)
Sparkly Very Sexy Bra- $98 (NOT FUCKING EXPECTED)

I must have looked at it 10 times thinking they must have charged me for two of the sparkly bras. But no. That price is just for one.

Just so we can all be on the same page about my dismay over the price of this bra, I took a picture of it along side the other very same bras I have, just less the rhinestones: 

Yes it is a pretty bra. But for reals. Really for reals...... $98???? I could probably bedazzle my own bra for way less money. Those rhinestones better have been hand sewn on by poor dirty starving children in a sweatshop in a 3rd world country to warrant that price. Rhinestones made of Unicorn dust and Fairy tears. Maybe they aren't rhinestones.... maybe they are blood diamonds!

I thought really hard about putting it back in the stupid striped bag and stomping back into Victoria's Secret to return it. But I was just too lazy. I didn't want to get back in the car. I could have taken it the next day, or even the next time I was out, but I just knew that if I didn't do it right that second, it would never happen. So instead I made a silent vow to get my $98 worth out of the damn bra. 

 "As God as my witness, I shall wear this bra til the rhinestones, which are surely made of compressed powder of the bones of those poor animals in the ASPCA commercials, fall off!"

My fancy bra has already been camping on the coast, walking (not running because it doesn't offer enough support) on the river trail, it's going on a motorcycle ride tomorrow and I have big plans to (someday) jump out of a plane in this bra.  

This bra better get me some action! Although, I am assuming that by the time someone see's it, I have already sealed the deal. but still!

Note to self- Check out the tag before you assume you know how much something costs at Victoria's Secret. They are sneaky fuckers, and clearly proud of their shit.

1 comment:

  1. If you're going to be dropping that kind of dinero on bras, you better be marching your happy self to Walmart and picking up and lingerie bag.