Friday, June 24, 2011

Pretty heavy for a Friday afternoon

I very rarely remember my dreams. Unless of course it is something really awful, like all my teeth falling out

I used to have this recurring nightmare that I was being chased, tormented, and attacked by someone. Someone that I know, and sadly, had really done those things to me in real life. That is a story for another day, but the reason I am mentioning it is because after a couple years of not having that dream, I had it last night.

I don't think about him much anymore. I try not to. And I can only assume that this dream resulted from the fact that I actually spoke of him the other day for the first time in ages.

It is crazy to me how real a dream can seem while you are having it, but how absurd it is when thinking back on it. Absurd or not, frantically running and trying to hide, only to be found and having to fight to defend myself seemed more real than I care to admit.  I awoke, panicked and disoriented with my heart racing and tears on my cheeks, to the sound of a text message on my phone. I have never been more grateful for forgetting to turn off my ringer than I was at midnight last night. I didn't really sleep much after that.

Does anyone else have dreams like that? I don't mean exactly like that, but so real that it seems impossible that it isn't really happening? Do you have recurring dreams at all?  This one is always the same for me. Of the dreams that I can remember, they are almost never "nightmares", yet they are always strange. I dream about crazy shit like space aliens and chicken nuggets. I think I would gladly trade having the dream where my teeth fall out every single night in exchange for never having last nights dream again.

Unfortunately, I have had the better part of the day, driving around in my car, to replay the stupid thing in my head, over and over. Ugh. So much for not thinking of him that much anymore. Guess I need to reset. Start over. Time to head for home and find some mindless comedic drivel to distract me enough to fall asleep for a nap.

"Dreams" artwork by Leah Piken Kolidas from her blog Creative Every Day.  Neat stuff, check it out!


  1. Oh Becky... A lot of us have dreams that are weird when spoken but keep on coming back. Absurd or not, they return uninvited, travelling the same worn path they've established over time.

    I still can't eat circus peanuts, the candy, because I had some awful dream when I was fucking 4 years old and the only thing I could recall from the terror when I awoke was circus peanuts.. fuck you. <-- that is directed at my crazy, not you.

    I also have a couple more dreams that come and go and come back again.. The most recent was the one where I am protecting someone I love from a pack of wild dogs, fighting them off with my bare hands.. After I had that dream, came to work, did work stuff... I started thinking, "Where does this shit come from? It's MY head dammit, I should know what's going on in there." Its like a prison up there sometimes, there must be portions of it that want to get out but I keep 'em in there for a reason, subconciously. I wonder what would happen if I could see what was happening in there??

    I promise I'm super-busy at work, but when I get a few free minutes I spend it as far from reality as I can get apparently.. I'm a psycho.

    Don't dwell on it too long. Love.

  2. p.s. I didn't mean to come off like, "Hey Becky, suck it, let's talk about me" in that last message.. I meant to just convey to you that you're not alone in your crazy dream world, I assure you.. cheer up, eat some cookie dough ice cream, then go enjoy some river trail. Or just put a straw in a bottle of Smirnoff and go to town :p