Sunday, April 17, 2011

Snakes on a river trail!

I woke up bright and early this morning and decided that it seemed like a great idea to head for the river trail. I love the river trail. It gives me miles of time to clear my head and sort shit out. I was needing it this morning.  My brain is way too full of crap that I can't make sense of lately. So I headed out with my water and my headphones and a smile on my face.  About a mile in a man on a bike passes me coming from the opposite direction and says "Hey, be careful there is rattlesnake on the trail up there". I asked him how far ahead and he said just around the bend and that it was probably gone already, but to watch out. So, like a dumbass, I kept going. La la la.....  A couple minutes later I hear a noise to my right and I look over and there is the snake!!! 

And I was like, (except not a boy)
And I totally lost my fucking mind for a minute. In a panic, I spun around and attempted to run in the opposite direction. What I managed to do instead was step on a rock, roll my ankle, and fall directly onto my ass. Graceful, right? 

I flailed around like an idiot for what seemed like minutes, but was really only seconds.  I could not get up and moving fast enough it seemed. That snake was going to EAT ME!!!  I scraped my elbow, rolled around a little bit and was finally able to stand up and hurl myself as fast as possible in the opposite direction of the anaconda sized, man (read Becky) eating rattlesnake. I ran for a minute or so before the adrenaline finally wore off and I realized that I was hurting.  It sucks being old and falling and realizing that you don't just pop up and dust yourself off quick a minute like when you are 16.  I then spent the next mile hobbling back to my car like a rest home resident. My hip still hurts. You win this round, river trail.

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