Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Oh man, that was awkward...

Sooooooo.... a background investigator contacted me a couple weeks ago regarding my ex husband. They are doing a background check as part of the hiring process for the fire dept. Why they need to talk to me, I will never know. The first time he called and left a message I didn't even bother to call back. It's  not really my job anymore to help my ex husband with anything, especially getting a job.  And I have better things to do. But after about 3 phone calls and a message saying that he "really needs to speak with me", I finally decided to return the call.  He was pleasant enough and asked a bunch of really boring questions. How is he with conflict resolution? How does he handle his finances? What are his drinking habits? Blah blah blah.... to which I basically had the same response to every question, "well since I have not seen him since 2006, I wouldn't really have any idea.  But when we were married he was always willing to work through arguments, he drank socially, and he had a job and paid his bills. I can't really speculate at all on how he is now".  And that was the end of that. Or so I thought....

Today I got another phone call from the background investigator with another message indicating that he REALLY needed to speak with me. Since I am bored at work, and have nothing really preventing me from calling back, I decided to be nice about it and help the guy out. I called him back and he said that something had come up in talking to other people regarding my ex husband that caused him some concern. He then proceeded to ask me if I thought that my ex had a drinking problem. I responded with a very enthusiastic "No!". I informed the man that while my ex and I were together he only ever drank socially and I would have never described his habits as having a dependency on alcohol. He then asked me something that made me feel a little sick to my stomach..... "Is it possible that he took the divorce very hard and began drinking more heavily?". My response was "Ummmmm..... sure I suppose that is possible, but I wouldn't really know that". Even though thinking back on it now, I do recall hearing something sorta kinda like that....

Ick!!!!!  I don't want to know that my ex had or has a drinking problem. And I sure as hell don't want to know that I might be partially responsible for said drinking problem. I dislike this feeling.  The good news is that I don't think I personally said anything to the investigator that could harm the chances of my ex getting the job. I even closed the call with "He would be a really great Fire Fighter for your department. He's a hard worker and he loves what he does". That'll help, right?  

Ex husband, if you are reading this, I did the best I could!

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