Friday, March 25, 2011

Is it socially acceptable to pimp out your parrot?

These are my birds, Scooter (left) and Oscar (right):
They are both males. Now, I haven't had them DNA tested, which is really the only way to know for certain the sex of these birds, but believe me when I tell you that I KNOW that they are males. There are certain traits that the males have that females usually do not. That, and they just act like rude little boys almost all of the time.

I have had Oscar for almost 4 years now.  Oscar was not hand raised. Meaning that the closest thing he had to human interaction was when they would change out the food in his cage at the pet store. He can be mean and he bites. Hard. It took me almost 6 months of working with him before he would sit calmly on my finger without trying to disfigure me. When I say "Sit calmly" I really mean that he would begrudgingly agree to sit on my finger while I waved treats in his little face and said "Who's a pretty bird?" over and over again.  I'm lucky he didn't peck my eyes out.  Over the course of the next couple years we formed a bond.  He loved me. He would climb down off his cage and walk all the way across the living room (His wings are clipped, he can't fly) to sit on my shoulder and have his head scratched. It was a far cry from when he used to hide at the back of his cage. I was so excited that he had become such a great little companion. He was (still is) spoiled absolutely rotten. He sings the cutest little songs too. I have taught him "Shave and a haircut" and he wolf whistles (only at men) and does this neener neener thing that is pretty funny. The best though is when he makes these crazy mash-ups of all three.

I began to feel bad about all the time that Oscar spent alone while I was at work. Parrots are very social creatures and they require a lot of attention.  I would wonder to myself what Oscar did allllll day long with no one talking to him, no noises or anything to keep his attention.  I figured that I should get him a buddy. With the help of my friend Jesse (who also has cockatiels, so we are like birdy soul mates), we found an adorable little white faced cockatiel on Craigslist. His name back then was Angel.  I thought that was a stupid name.  Angel was free to a good home and $50 for his cage, which was really more like a $300 cage. He, unlike Oscar, was hand raised and very tame. So $50 later, I had Scooter, as he was renamed, and Oscar had a new best friend. And the two of them share that bitchin cage.

Scooter has been part of the family now for a little over a year.  He and Oscar are inseparable. Literally. I can't have one on my shoulder and leave the room without them calling out to each other like it's the end of the world and they will never see each other again. It's ridiculous.

This where is gets funny though. Being that they are both male, it would be totally understandable for them to have a little birdy bromance, you know, they both like to chew shoe laces, poop on the floor, squawk really loudly for no reason, and cause general mischief. Oscar though, seems to have a bit of gay birdy love for Scooter.  He has tried I don't know how many times to climb on top of Scooter and mount him. Scooter does not like it very much, naturally, and has to lay the smack down to make his point.  But Oscar is not deterred. He will sing his best little mating songs at Scooter at full volume, just screaming for love. Scooter is bored, and unimpressed. Oscar searches out dark little corners and whatever shred-able material he can find to make a nest. And he looks at Scooter with a look that says "See, the love nest I have built for us?" Scooter remains uninterested.
Attempting to make a nest out of mini blind chord

Because Oscar's love has gone unrequited for so long, he has resorted to alternative methods of um.... how should I say this..... satisfying his manly bird urges.  Oscar's newest love interest is now a "special" spot on his perch. He really really likes that spot. It's not at all out of the ordinary now to be sitting on the couch, watching TV or talking to Deana, and to look over and see Oscar just going to town on that poor perch. He gets so excited sometimes and so into it, that he has fallen off and onto his head. Deana and I, unsure what to really do about it, or if we really should even do anything, just try to ignore him :p  It can be a bit embarrassing when we have guests over. "Um, what is your bird doing?", someone will ask. We usually respond with some version of "Oh, just don't look directly at him, he'll fall off the perch soon".

So what I am wondering is, should I find a female birdy for Oscar to spend some alone time with?  I don't want to get another bird, so it would have to be a friends bird or something like that. And then I wonder, if once he has had his way with a female, will he be even more sex crazed, or will it calm him down? All I know, is that the little horny brat is driving me nuts!

I am worried that if I can't figure out some way to mellow his urges, this will happen to people when they come over:


No comments:

Post a Comment