Sunday, March 13, 2011

Important things that I have learned from Cosmo

I love love love to read. I am reading a great book right now called Carrion Comfort by Dan Simmons. I highly recommend it. Its over 700 pages of very small type, so I am gonna be at it for awhile but I don't really mind that. I am sometimes disappointed when books that I really enjoy are finished too soon. 

As much as I love a good, and by good I mean well written, work of literature I sometimes supplement my growing library with total mindless drivel.  I am not ashamed to admit that I read Cosmo.  I have learned some very important and useful things from Cosmo over the years:

1) Your shoes no longer have to match your handbag. In fact, your shoes don't necessarily need to match anything anymore. They don't even have to be cute anymore.
2) Any perfume that I buy will make me look like a supermodel. Right?
3) There are women who bedazzle their ginas.  With, like, rhinstones.  I didn't investigate this trend far enough to find out.... but I worry that this might involve hot glue.
4) Every man on the planet secretly wants me to stick my finger in his butt. Maybe not me specifically, but you know, they want someone to stick their finger in his butt. I'm not gonna do it though, I don't care what Cosmo says. Gross.
5) Bed hair is sexy. Just not on me. Ever.

I picked up today's issue and the first thing that popped into my head was:

There are 50 ways to have kinky sex with Olivia Wilde

Take THAT, muffin top!!!

Oh, Cosmo..... I <3 you.

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